‘A Driver or a Kirana Store Owner?’

The screen flickered and the page began to refresh… I whispered my silent prayers to God… Please let this one be good. 
 

God did all that he could and I did all, but what I needed to… Hence the obvious result. Though my sixth sense had given me the signals as to what was about to emerge, I chose to consciously ignore it. Ignorance is not always bliss and so it turned out to be.

I packed my bags and began to leave. In my mind were questions, unanswered…

How did it happen? Why did it happen? And most importantly, what implications does it have???

All my efforts and pains had resulted in no gains. They say ‘No Gain without pain’ but ‘why is there No Gain even after so much Pain???’

I have foundered badly this time and it’s time to introspect. Fate has rapped me on the knuckles. My bones are broken and I am shattered, just like when you have been struck by a rude jolt of lightning.

Some would say that you require such ‘jolts’ at frequent intervals to keep you on your toes. But what’s the point of such 'jolts' if they derail you completely? What should you do? Continue mechanically despite these ‘jolts’ or…?

In fact, everything I do these days is mechanically motivated. I attend classes mechanically just to say ‘Present sir’ as my name is called out on the roll call. I eat food mechanically just to satisfy my hunger, despite the food's awful taste. Even my smile is mechanically motivated just to please others.

I have forgotten what it is to smile from the heart. When was the last time I did it? Frankly, I don’t even remember. Damn it! But I am mechanically happy, being mechanical.
 

So, post my mechanical dinner that night, I lay on my bed thinking of, what alternate career options I had, if I failed miserably in all the planned ones. I came up with two weird, but funny ones.

The first one is to become a driver of one of the ‘Vayu Vajra’ (Volvo buses in Bengaluru) busses in Bengaluru. Not only, would it satisfy my passion of driving those huge busses but it would also allow me to stay put in Bengaluru and drive endlessly on its arterial roads. In addition to it being a Govt. job, you get  to collect lots of money from the passengers. On top of it, you get to be in A.C. the whole day!

Imagine me as the driver of one of these!

The second one is to borrow some money and set up a ‘Kirana Store’ (a provision store) in her locality. All you need is some basic common sense and a bit of arithmetic to keep you going. Moreover, it’s a decent occupation (at least you can make out a living!) and would give me a chance to be close to her, despite being far.

I will have to set up a 'Kirana Store' like one of these...or else in this age she won't even look at my shop. Competition!

After laughing mechanically at my, rather foolish thoughts, I decided that I better go to sleep and not denigrate myself by acting upon these stupid ideas. The reasons being…

What if she came onto the bus I was driving and asked me… ‘Bhaiya M.G. road ke liye ek ticket dena’ or she came to my ‘Kirana store’ and asked me  ‘Bhaiya ek kilo cheeni aur ek kilo namak dena’.

Oh My god! I Can’t take that.

Aaaahhhh!!!! Bhaiya My Foot!!! 

P.S. - Have you become invisible or it's just that I have become blind?